Parenting Debate: Should You Force Your Kids to Hug Relatives During the Holidays?

By Suzanne Zuckerman for PureWow

The holidays are filled with good tidings of comfort and joy—and awkward hugs. Think about it: Your husband’s cousin from Chicago may seem hug-worthy to you (how fun was he at your wedding?!), but to your kids, he’s a total stranger—with facial hair no less. And if you’re anything like us, you’ve been talking to them for years about “good touching and bad touching.” But is letting children bolt at the sight of a bearded stranger giving them the necessary tools for civility? And are we wrapping something innocent in cynicism and fear instead of tinsel and ribbon? Well, plenty of parenting experts say bodily autonomy and consent take priority over potentially offending an adult. Dreaming of a controversy-free Christmas? Better luck next year. Here, the two sides of the coin.

HUGGING IS POSITIVE—AND POLITE

To New York Post columnist Karol Markowicz, labeling familial hugs as dangerous seems patently absurd: “Turning snuggles with grandpa into something sinister, and comparing it to horrific abuse…is a real problem,” she writes. “As unwanted touching continues to consume our media cycles, it’s a great time to educate kids on the differences between sexual and non-sexual touching and kissing. Lumping all affection into one jumbled ball only blurs the lines. Not everyone is a predator, in fact most people are not, and teaching kids to live in a world where they fear anyone can hurt them at any time is deeply unhealthy… Don’t sexualize innocent interactions and don’t make your kids afraid of everyone. Encouraging them to be affectionate with the important people in their lives will only brighten the line between appropriate and inappropriate touching for the time in life when they actually are autonomous.”

HIGH FIVES AND HANDSHAKES ARE JUST FINE, THANKS

The American Academy of Pediatrics takes a clear stance:  “Do not force your children to give hugs or kisses to people they do not want to. It is their right to tell even grandma or grandpa that they do not want to give them a kiss or a hug goodbye… Constantly reinforce the idea that their body is their own, and they can protect it.” In fact, forced hugs could give kids—and girls in particular—“the wrong idea about consent and physical affection,” writes The Girl Scouts of America in a blog post entitled “Reminder: She Doesn’t Owe Anyone a Hug. Not Even at the Holidays.” They quote developmental psychologist Dr. Andrea Bastiani Archibald: “The notion of consent may seem very grown-up and like something that doesn’t pertain to children. But the lessons girls learn when they’re young about setting physical boundaries and expecting them to be respected last a lifetime, and can influence how she feels about herself and her body as she gets older. Plus, sadly, we know that some adults prey on children, and teaching your daughter about consent early on can help her understand her rights, know when lines are being crossed, and when to go to you for help.” Why not apply this to our sons as well? And to anyone who suggests that withholding hugs is rude? Tell them you’re helping your kids perfect a strong handshake; the better to prepare them for the boardroom and the campaign trail. 

16 Ways to Travel With Kids (And Enjoy It)

By Joanna Goddard for A Cup of Jo

When brainstorming family trips, I sometimes think of that funny Onion article, “Mom Spends Beach Vacation Assuming All Household Duties in Closer Proximity to Ocean.” So, how can you get a family vacation to feel like a true escape — not just for kids, but for grown-ups, too? Here, experienced mothers share their tried-and-true tips…

From Kendra Smoot, mother of three (aged 2, 5 and 10):

1. I start packing the week before we leave. I set out a suitcase or start a pile out of the way, and when I think of something (bug spray, sun hat, headphones), I just pack it up instead of scrambling right before we leave.

2. Ever since I heard that anticipation is half the fun, we involve the kids in the planning part — learning a bit of the history of where we are visiting, what things we want to do there.

3. We bring headlamps. They’re so handy and comforting for kids when they’re in a new space, or when you are all sharing a hotel room with a sleeping baby, etc.

4. Eating out for every meal with kids can sometimes feel like a drag, so we buy groceries and cook — and save eating out for a few special restaurants.

From Linsey Laidlaw, mother of three (aged 3, 6 and 9):

5. My best advice for easing plane travel is to keep your kids nice and deprived any time they aren’t flying so you can lord the prize of screen time and snacks over them as a bribe for good behavior. We don’t give them juice in our normal life, so the promise of their own little can of cranapple is tantalizing.

6. I love that exploring a new city as a family gives us a truer idea of what it’s like to live there. With kids, we experience grocery stores and neighborhood playgrounds and local spots that we’d probably miss if we were on a grown-up trip. We shape the itinerary so that everyone can choose one activity per day, and we alternate between adult and kid picks. The rule is you have to be supportive of other’s picks. So, if you keep it together on Mom’s walk through the museum, you won’t be cut short at the park — and also your chances for ice cream will increase exponentially.

From Brooke Williams, mother of one (aged 9):

7. On car trips, we listen to podcasts. Hours fly by like minutes. Tumble is a great kid-friendly podcast about science, and NPR has a whole directory of family podcasts. Then there are my favorite books on tape. We devoured the D’Aulaires’ Book of Greek Myths, which is read by Harry Belafonte, Kathleen Turner, Mathew Broderick and Paul Newman and might just be the Best. Audiobook. Ever. We also loved Wonder and A Wrinkle in Time. Oh, and we probably listened to The Little House on the Prairie 1000 times. Maybe more.

8. We try to rent apartments when traveling — it makes the pacing feel more human, and you can have that downtime at home. I like Kid & Coe for family-friendly houses in cool places. Plus, that way we’ll eat a good breakfast before setting out for the day. If Daddy makes pancakes, we’re all good!

From Amanda Jane Jones, mother of two (aged 1 and 3):

9. We carry a big (thin, so it can be easily folded) picnic blanket that can be used for picnics in case the kids are too rowdy for a restaurant. It also can be used for naps in transit. 

10. We have the most success when we plan outdoor adventures in nature. The kids are always 10 times happier on some sort of hike or beach or lake, so we try to work that into our days.

11. “Hangry” fits happened so often at the beginning of our last summer vacation, I quickly learned my lesson. Now I’ll pack sandwiches — croissants with tomato, mozzarella and arugula (the kids eat it without the arugula). Or if we’re in a rush, peanut butter and jelly.

From Liz Libré, mother of three (aged 9 months, 4 and 6):

12. We bring a few things for indoor play (for early mornings, downtime and rainy days): A Koosh ball is great for tossing around, especially at the airport; it doesn’t bounce away, which is key. Plus, the games Rush Hour and Spot It. Also, on a recent trip, my friend recommended Perler beads, which were a HUGE hit with the kids. We were on the most beautiful beach in the world, and my son wanted to go back to the room to do Perler!

13. We love being outside but don’t want to get burned, so we wear brimmed hats and hooded sun shirts. Kids are always exposing their backs and necks, digging in the sand or playing on the ground, and these help keep sun off them without being too hot.

From Erin Jang, mother of two (ages 1 and 5):

14. I always like to tell my son, “It’s an adventure!” My dad used to tell me that growing up. Energy is so infectious. If I am stressed, impatient and cranky, my kids feel it and it can sour the moment for everyone. But if I’m amped up, the day becomes that much more fun. As a parent, you can spin anything — even the mistakes, the detours, the forgotten diapers! — into an adventure.

15. On our last trip, I gave our five-year-old the very important job of being our family travel reporter. To my surprise, he took it very seriously! I brought a notebook, scissors, tape, a glue stick and markers. He collected bus and museum tickets, asked for business cards at restaurants, and sought out other ephemera. He documented the most important events (i.e., all sugary treats he ate) and it was a great activity when we were waiting at restaurants or on long train rides.

16. Lastly, packing cubes! They’re the best! It makes it so much easier to pack and unpack all the kid’s clothes, and keep things organized when we’re traveling.

Of course, tricky things still happen on family vacations, but it’s worth it for the great moments, right? “We’ve had tantrums and time-outs all over the world,” says Linsey Laidlaw. “For us, this is an acceptable cost of business, and we figure if we are gonna learn to master these behaviors somewhere, it may as well be on the go.” Also, I loved this mother’s Instagram comment on vacation mindfulness: “Repeat after me: ‘I’m on vacation and I don’t care!'”

City Guide: The Westside of Los Angeles

By Hannah Henderson for A Cup of Jo

Venice has been my home for the past 12 years. It feels like a small town within this huge city, which is comforting. On the west side, the beach is our backyard. Los Angeles is massive and we have the freedom of being on the fringe, not so locked into notorious traffic. On the west side you have everything you need, in a little bubble… a little bubble that happens to contain the Pacific Ocean.

WHERE TO EAT

Gjelina in Venice might be my favorite restaurant. The food is always, always perfect. The pizzas, seasonal burrata dishes (with prosciutto and stone fruit in the summer) and mushroom toast are especially great. If you’re in a group, share a bunch of plates to taste everything! A reservation on the back patio makes the experience even better. If you’re in a hurry, stop by the neighboring Gjelina Take Away and grab an order to go. 

Holy Guacamole in Santa Monica is a hole-in-the-wall place that serves quick, authentic Mexican food. Their quesadillas can make any kiddo cheer right up.

For brunch, try Cora’s Coffee Shop in Santa Monica. It’s tiny, relaxed and gorgeous (it has bougainvillea-covered patio!). I like getting the burrata caprese omelet and a cappuccino.

For lunch, stop by Gjusta in Venice. It’s a beautiful, laid-back café by the people behind Gjelina. Order the veggie sandwich (with tahini, avocado and roasted peppers), egg sandwich (with gruyere, bacon and hot sauce) or chocolate babka (made with croissant dough). Even the bathroom is lovely, with rustic styling and French-pane windows. Go at an off-hour or later in the day to avoid the rush.

Consider going to Ivy at the Shore in Santa Monica — a resort-style Italian restaurant (think: light pink walls, tropical patterns and fresh flowers everywhere) — at sunset. It’s not cheap, but it’s a classic dinner experience. I recommend the delicious lobster pasta and the Ivy Gimlet made with homegrown mint. 

If you’re up for a short drive, Malibu Farm Pier Café, off the Pacific Coast Highway, serves tasty, organic food at the end of a pier overlooking the Pacific Ocean. Try the crab cakes with baby potatoes and arugula.

WHERE TO HANG

Visit the Eames House in Pacific Palisades. It’s the private residence of American designers Charles and Ray Eames, and it’s stunning. Reservations are necessary, and it’s $10 to tour the outside. For adults only, special interior tours are available at a much higher price ($275!), but the fees go toward their 250 Year Project to conserves the site. If you’re into grand old houses like this, take a detour on the way and drive through Rustic Canyon. It’s a magical residential neighborhood that feels 100 miles away from the rest of Los Angeles. With huge eucalyptus trees and mid-century houses, it’s a real estate dream.

Spend a couple of hours wandering up and down Abbot Kinney Boulevard in Venice. (GQ Magazine calls it “the coolest block in America.”) There are great shops, like Aesop, Bazar and Urbanic. Opened by a husband and wife after their move from Tokyo, Tortoise has simple Japanese home goods. At the coffee shop Blue Bottle, order the New Orleans, a cold-brew with organic cane sugar, for a sweet jolt. On Sundays, Guerilla Taco Truck sits outside Blue Bottle. Their menu is flavorful and delicious, with items like a sweet potato taco with almond chile, feta cheese, fried corn and scallions. My kids also go nuts for Salt & Straw ice cream. The honey lavender is my favorite.

Los Angeles County Museum of Art in the Miracle Mile has amazing exhibits — through September, there is a Agnes Martin (an American abstract painter) show. The museum is also next door to the La Brea Tar Pits, which my kids love. A couple years ago, the city discovered thousands of fossils when they were digging to build a new parking structure. You can now watch scientists cleaning the fossils of ice-age creatures that used to roam Los Angeles.

Hiking is big in L.A., and one of my favorite spots is Temescal Canyon. The two-and-a-half mile loop takes you by ocean views and 100-year-old trees.

If you want to hang at the beach, head to Surfrider in Malibu, a classic surf spot. Or go a little farther up the coast to El Pescador for a quieter experience. It’s a secluded cove with tide pools at low tide. Bring water bottles, snacks and some friends to make a day out of it.

WHERE TO SHOP

I’m definitely biased, but my shop General Store in Venice curates a mix of handmade home objects, clothing, jewelry, books and vintage goods. It’s the perfect place to find California gifts.

There are two locations of Lost & Found near each other on Main street in Santa Monica. One has women’s clothing with a sweet kids’ section, and the other one is for the home. Filled with natural light, the women’s shop has Italian sandals and quality clothing in natural fabrics. You find items there that you’ll wear for years.

For those who love flea markets, Los Angeles has some of the best, and they happen every weekend! The Santa Monica Airport Antique Market is open the first and fourth Sundays of the month. If you are venturing east, stop by Pasadena City College on the first Sunday of the month and the Rose Bowl Flea Market, the mother of all flea markets, on the second Sunday of the month. Melrose Trading Postat Fairfax High School is open every Sunday.

WHERE TO STAY

The Rose Hotel in Venice is a low-key, 14-room hotel that’s close to Muscle Beach and the Venice Skate Park. It’s a touristy area, so be prepared to navigate crowds. If you’re willing to brave the crazy boardwalk, my favorite place is the roller disco rink next to the skate park, which is packed with wonderful characters dancing in their roller skates. It’s a time capsule — and incredibly fun to watch.

Or, consider renting a house in Venice. That way, you’ll be walking distance to Abbot Kinney and the awesome shops on Lincoln. You’re close to everything — it’s the best way to experience the town. Make time to stroll down the Venice “walk-streets” (pedestrian-only pathways). The tree-lined sidewalks still have that old Venice charm.

If you want to sneak a bit east to Hollywood, I highly recommend staying a night at the legendary Chateau Marmont. It was built in 1929 as a deluxe apartment building, but the rooms were quickly changed into hotel suites and bungalows. It’s a beautiful Los Angeles landmark with so much old Hollywood history, you can feel the energy when you walk in. It’s been a star retreat for decades — F. Scott Fitzgerald, Annie Leibovitz, Hunter S. Thompson and Sofia Coppola, to name a few, have produced work here.

FINAL TIP

Los Angeles is a great place to visit any time of year because the weather is so wonderful, but it gets busier in the summer. If you come then, start your days early and do things on weekdays for the best experience. In the winter, sand sledding is a Venice tradition! The city builds huge sand dunes on the beach, and we slide down them in snow sleds. It’s really fun for everyone.

Paris Self-Guided Walking Tour

map of Paris powered by Google

from Wanderlust Crew

#1: Montmartre

Your journey will begin in this beautiful and historic part of Paris that is known for it’s lovely narrow cobbled streets, and was and still is home to many artists, especially during the era of Impressionism such as Salvador Dalí, Amedeo Modigliani, Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, Piet Mondrian, Pablo Picasso, Camille Pissarro, Claude Monet and Vincent van Gogh. I like to start here because it is the highest point you will see today, which means the rest of your day is essentially spent walking downhill! 

It’s a pretty long steep walk up to Sacre Coeur, but I love dawdling along the streets and stopping in the boulangerie to grab fresh bread and snacking while we make our way to the top. The view is worth it. I think half your time in Paris should be spent wandering the streets. It’s the best part! 

You can visit the Basilica of Sacre Coeur, walk the streets, have your picture painted (artists here must have a special license issued by the city which limits the number of artists allowed, so you know they will be good), stop and have a crepe or some frites and take the funicular, which has been running since 1900 (but has been updated) down the steps from Sacre Coeur if you don’t feel like walking up or down over 300 steps.

#2: The Centre Pompidou

The Centre Pompidou is an awesome piece of inside-out architecture that houses France’s largest modern art museum and a public library. But the best thing about this building is that all of the functional external elements of the building are color-coded: green pipes are plumbing, blue ducts are for climate control, electrical wires are encased in yellow, and the red ones are circulation elements and health and safety. Even the escalators are on the outside of the building. How fun is that?!

#3: Le Marais

One of the oldest neighborhoods in Paris, Le Marais is a cobblestone paradise of vintage boutiques and small bistros. Plan to hit Le Marais around lunch time as this eclectic neighborhood is known for its food! After lunch be sure to visit the picturesque square of Place des Vosges. The Picasso Museum is also located in Le Marais. Stop by Carette for a tasty afternoon treat!

#4: Ile de la Cite

No visit to Paris would be complete without hearing the bells of Notre Dame and seeing the breathtaking view from the tower! But there is much more to explore on Ile de la Cite. Wander over the Sainte Chapelle for the most glorious stained glass windows you’ll ever see! Also worth a visit is Ile St. Louis next door.

#5: Pantheon

For another incredible view of Paris, take a guided tour up to the dome of the Pantheon, located in the Latin Quarter. The Pantheon, originally built as a church, is now a mausoleum to distinguished French citizens such as Voltaire, Marie Curie, Rousseau, Victor Hugo, and Emile Zola. 

#6: Luxembourg Gardens

Walk the short distance to the Luxembourg Gardens and enjoy a stroll through the park where you can people watch and enjoy some nature in the middle of the city. There is also a fantastic playground.

#7: Saint-Germain-des-Prés

As you leave the Luxembourg Gardens, head to the neighborhood of Saint-Germain-des-Pres, renowned for its vintage and boutique shopping and bustling cafes.

#8: Pont Neuf

Cross over the Seine again via Pont Neuf, the oldest standing bridge that crosses the river in Paris, built in the 1500s.

#9: Louvre

It’s time for a stop at the Louvre! The lines can get long, so if you plan to go inside, I would considering hiring a private tour through something like Paris Muse to get you through the Louvre without waiting in line and getting you a personal art history lesson. Be sure to grab eclairs from Eclair de Genie which can be found near the Louvre food court. Snap a selfie in front of the glass pyramids, which were a huge controversy during their construction, but are now Paris Icons. 

#9: Tuileries Garden 

Leaving the Louvre, stroll through the Tuileries Garden and enjoy an escape from city life on your way to the next museum…

#9: Orangerie Museum

The Musee de l’Orangerie is an art gallery full of impressionist and post-impressionist paintings from the likes of Monet, Cezanne, Matisse, Modigliani, Picasso, Renoir, Rousseau and more! If you’re running short on time, pick between the Louvre and the Orangerie based on which art interests you more.

#10: Arc de Triomphe

Stroll all the way up the Champs Elysees (doing some window shopping while you’re at it), see the craziest roundabout you’ll ever see, and onto the Arc de Triomphe, which honors those who fought and died for France in the French Revolutionary and the Napoleonic Wars. The names of all French victories and generals are inscribed on the surfaces. At the base lies the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier from World War I.  You can climb the steps for another fantastic view of the city and of your next destination, the Eiffel Tower! 

#11: Trocadero 

Walk to Trocadero where you will have the best viewing and photo spot for the Eiffel Tower just across the Seine.

#12: Eiffel Tower

Your walking tour stops at the Eiffel Tower. Originally designed for the 1889 World’s Fair, and only built to stand for 20 years, the tower came under extreme criticism from the citizens and artists of the day, but is now the most iconic structure in Paris, visited by over seven million people each year! Be sure to buy your tickets months in advance as they can book out. Also, consider scheduling a private tour. There are many that start at the Trocadero and walk you to the tower, all while teaching you about its history and skipping the lines. 

I hope this walking guide to Paris was helpful and that you love your time in Paris as much as I have. It’s truly one of those places that captures your heart if you do it right.

8 Ways to Have a Great Relationship with Your Nanny

By Ellen Seidman for Care.com

I have two loves of my life: My husband and my nanny. She's been with us since my son was born seven years ago, and I do everything I can to let her know how much I adore her. Take the other evening, when I went to an event thrown by a local mom's group. It was "spa night," and we were treated to manis, pedis and massages. We could also make our own bath salts, poured into a little glass jar and tied with a ribbon. I knew right away what I was going to do with mine: I came home and handed it to our nanny. "It's for you, so you can take a relaxing bath -- you deserve it," I said.

Granted, I sure could use a relaxing bath (or twenty) myself. But I'm always trying to make sure our nanny feels cared for. This is the woman who I trust to take care of my kids. She's my partner, my copilot, my wing-woman in parenting. I want to keep her happy -- and I want her to do good by my kids and me, too. And just like having a good relationship with my husband, that takes time and attention. Plenty of other moms I know feel the same -- and have their own smart strategies. Read for yourself about the ways they've built great relationships with their nannies.

1. Make Expectations Clear From Day One
   "If you want your nanny to help with dinner or do laundry or light cleaning -- and she'll have the time free during the day to do them -- let her know from the start," says Betsy, a mom of one. "You don't just want to spring major new demands on a nanny, because then she'll feel taken advantage of." Some moms refuse to ask their nannies do housework, as tempting as it may be. As Judy, a mom of one, says, "Sure, I'd like some help, but I don't want to send the message that my baby isn't the top priority. She is."

2. Care -- Really Care -- About Your Nanny
   "I care about my babysitter's mental and physical health as much as I care about my family's," says Denise, a mother of two. "I do it because she's part of my family, and I want her to feel that way. Also, the healthier she is, the better she'll be able to take care of my kids."

3. Pamper Her
   "My babysitter has been with us since Brodie was 11 months old -- now he's five! -- and I try to help her enjoy herself. You know, like giving her job perks!" says Dani. "I'll tape some of her favorite shows on TiVo so she can watch them when Brodie's asleep, and make sure I have her favorite snacks around." Adds Betsy, "On my nanny's birthday, I give her a personal gift -- like a scarf -- and some cash in an envelope, and I'll have Melinda draw her a card. Really, she's like my child's other mother!" Hedy, a mother of two, goes even further: "I buy my nanny's two kids presents for the holidays. It makes her really happy, too."

4. Don't Get in Her Way
   "My sitter has raised her own kids, so I generally give her a lot of autonomy," says Kara, a mother of two. "Even if she does some things differently than I do, I figure it worked for her, no harm done. And we always make sure that our kids, who are two and five, know that her word is final when we're not home. This has gotten important now that my oldest is playing more with kids in the neighborhood and asking them to go over, or to go to their house. Whatever Cynthia says goes! It conveys respect and also makes things run more smoothly."

5. Be Generous
   Most moms give their nannies an end-of-year bonus (sometimes, as much as an extra week's salary), plus an annual pay raise. "I believe really strongly in not nickel-and-diming my sitter," notes Jessica, a mother of two. "If she works an extra half-hour, I'll round up to an hour. If she bought my kids a $6 lunch, I'll reimburse her $10. My friends think I'm crazy, but I see the payoff. She always comes when I need her, and more importantly, she's happy and cheerful and works hard to make our lives better in every way." 

6. Pick Your Battles
   "I avoid speaking up about minor stuff that bugs me," says Kara. "Like, my babysitter has a habit of opening the microwave without first pressing 'Stop.' I think it could screw it up and if my husband did it, you'd better believe I'd ask him to stop! But I've held back. My philosophy is that the less I critique and make requests, the more impact it will have when I have an important change I want her to make."

7. Speak Up About Big Issues
   "If I have to talk with our nanny about something I'm not happy about, I try to get home from work early so we can talk before she leaves, or I'll ask her to come in a few minutes early in the morning," says Joanna, a mom of two. "Leaving notes about biggie things is not okay -- your nanny, and your children, deserve a discussion. If you leave a note, your nanny might feel attacked. It's so easy to read the wrong tone in a note."

8. Help Her Stay Organized
   "I have a large calendar hanging on the kitchen corkboard where I write down the kids' activities and playdates," says Hedy, a mother of twins. "That way we can remember what's happening when. It keeps us both sane!" 

7 awesome ways to get your children eating avocado

From Motherhood: The Real Deal

I am a tad obsessed with avocado and have been to known to eat at least half an avocado on a daily basis (a whole one sometimes)! After all, not only is it an awesome superfood, it’s a lot more versatile than you think plus who doesn’t love a bit of mashed avocado on toast for a quick lunch? However, getting your children eating avocado – now there’s another story.

While my daughter used to chow avo like there was no tomorrow when she was weaning….then along came the toddler picky eating club and the notion that avocado is blurgh! has stuck with her ever since. Cue mum obsessing ways to get the good stuff into her. And so today I’m sharing some of my favourite ways to get your children eating avocado. As tried and tested by me! As you will see…the key is them er….not actually knowing there is avocado in it:

In an omelette

The key here is to blend up the avocado first into a smooth paste before adding it into a lovely cheesy omlette-y mix. I usually go with 1/4 cup of pureed avocado per three egg omelette but you can experiment with ratios to suit.

In a pasta sauce

Avococado pasta? Yup, it’s seriously creamy and dreamy. Just think of it as switching things up and using it instead of pesto (because hey! kids will eat anything with pasta right?). It also happens to be super quick to whip up. Check out this recipe here to make it.

In quesadillas

Quesadillas are the perfect way to sneak in all sorts of things – including avocado! Just try sneaking in a thin layer of mashed up avocado before you start laying up your other toppings. Check out how to rock a quesadilla here.

In pancakes

What the? Avocados in pancakes? Yes indeedy, and once again the secret here is to get them pureed up like a dream first. My daughter calls these “vanilla pancakes” and I’m not in a hurry to correct her – for obvious reasons. Hit up this avocado pancake recipe here.

In muffins

Avocado chocolate breakfast muffins? You better believe it mamas. I love making and freezing these for whipping out for breakfast in a hurry (um….every day then?). You can even combine with courgette for a double breakfast veggie dose as per this recipe.

In a smoothie bowl

And seeing as we’re on a breakfast tip, let’s talk smoothie bowls. In case you have been living under a rock – smoothie bowls are all the rage and are an amazing way of getting your kids to eat avocado when combined with banana and a bit of cocoa and honey. They also provide a great interactive element as your can set up a mini “toppings buffet” (think strawbs, raisins, Cheerios and whatever else they fancy) for the littles to help themselves to. Here’s how to make one.

In chocolate puddings

And lastly, my absolute favourite….basically the most decadent of healthy puddings – it’s basically like a slightly richer version of a smoothie bowl and believe me it’s absolutely luscious. Imagine! You convincing them to finish their dinner with the lure of avocado! Also fantastic freezed as a seriously decadent ice pop! I love this healthy recipe here.

So there you have it – my six favourite ways of getting your sproglets to eat avocado! Have you tried any of these?  Or if not which is going to be on your hit list first? Do leave a comment and share.

Trying Out Slow Parenting

By Joanna Goddard for A Cup of Jo

After work and on the weekends, I often take our boys on neighborhood adventures — to the playground, to the carousel, to the bookstore, to the deli to get popsicles. And, even though these outings are fun, I’ve found that, en route, I’m constantly calling after them: “Hurry up, sweetie!” “Let’s go!” “Keep walking!” “Come on, honey, follow me!”

One recent evening, I even challenged myself not to tell them any instructions for the next minute. And it made me realize how often I did — 60 seconds was hard to get through! The funny thing is, usually we’re not even in a rush. As an adult, I just move at a faster pace than they do, and I’m also not great, generally, at relaxing, even on my own time. So, when Anton stops to examine a bicycle pedal or spots an ant on the ground or Toby walks slowly and dreamily down the block, I instinctively tell them to c’mon and come along.

The other day, I read a Boston Globe article about slow parenting, and it really resonated with me:

“I encourage parents to take some time to just watch their children, whether they are playing, doing homework, or eating a snack,” [John Duffy, a clinical psychologist and author of The Available Parent] says. “Take a moment to drink them in. Remember and remind yourself how remarkable your children are. That pause alone, even if momentary, can drive a shift in the pace”…

“We don’t overschedule ourselves. My husband and I spend lots of time at home. My kids dig in the dirt and ride bikes, we blow bubbles and go to the beach,” says [Lindsay Miller, a mother of three boys, ages 2, 4, and 7]…

“These days when everyone is so busy, we need to be intentional about making space for family time…” Family time, says Contey [cofounder of Slow Family Living] is different for all of us. “You might say, ‘we’re all here on Thursday mornings, so let’s make a leisurely pancake breakfast’; or one night a week take a walk in the dark before bed. Something like that can feel really special and the kids will remember it as they get older”…

I loved that line about simply watching your children. The other day, the boys were taking a bath, and instead of cleaning up the room or scrubbing them down, I decided to just look at them. I noticed how Anton’s hair sticks out to each side, making him look like Doc from Back to the Future. And Toby was softly humming a tune, which I didn’t recognize at first, but then realized was “So Long, Farewell” from the Sound of Music. (“And you and you and you!”) And their round bellies and soft cheeks and serious focus on bath toys broke my heart from the sweetness. And I could have just as easily missed it!

My approach has typically been to squeeze in fun outings with them, especially if I’ve been at work all day. But maybe it’s nice sometimes to not do anything. 

This month, I’m inspired to slow down and let the boys take the lead. Maybe we’ll skip a carousel excursion and instead just walk around the block as slowly as they’d like. Maybe we’ll take an hour! We’ll notice little things (like those fascinating bike pedals) and say hi to neighbors and maybe turn around and sit on a bench and NOT, under any circumstances, hurry up.

How a Staffing Agency Can Help

British American Q and A in Goop.com
 

Anita Rogers, founder of household staffing agency British American, has more than a decade’s experience in pairing families with household staff, from nannies and butlers to personal assistants and estate managers. She’s earned a reputation for finding successful matches–and also for helping to handle any situation that may arise in the working household. Here, she shares her insights on why hiring for your childcare or home needs is profoundly personal, and how a staffing agency can help with the process. 

A Q&A with Anita Rogers

What are the upsides to using an agency?

An agency helps you determine what kind of help you really need, and devises the way in which you want your staff to fit your lifestyle. It also saves you time and keeps you safe during the interview process. Some families have limited experience interviewing and hiring childcare and household staff, which makes it easy to miss signs of danger, red flags, or dishonesty. We enforce strict standards as we interview thousands of candidates each year. This has allowed us—and other reputable agencies—to become experts at spotting dishonest references and to be able single out specific personality traits and potential challenges. A staffing agency has seen how similar traits have played out with other candidates, which lends to its ability to find the best fit for you, your family, and your household.

What are the biggest misconceptions about household staffing?

Both parties must be willing to give and take in order to find the best match. Often people think they can hire a candidate if they offer a competitive or high salary. Or if a nanny or butler has excellent experience, they might assume they can get a higher salary and an ideal schedule. But staffing is a matchmaking process, and both parties must be satisfied with the relationship and the circumstances in order for it to work.

How do you recognize good talent?

It’s a long process—and it’s so much more than just a great résumé and reference letters. We look for candidates that have a balance of experience, training, and education in their field and glowing references from past employers. Other indicators we look for include personality, attitude, flexibility, grammar, responsiveness, and confidence.

The résumé is always the first indicator of talent, where we look at formal level of experience, age appropriate childcare experience, the types of homes an individual has worked in, longevity in previous jobs, and demonstrated professionalism and willingness. We screen all résumés and references and do extensive state, federal, and international background checks, as well as a thorough screening of their social media.

What’s the secret to finding a good match between a family and nanny?

Everyone must be on the same page from the very beginning of the process. One family’s dream nanny could be another’s nightmare. It’s imperative that the candidate and the family have a similar approach to raising children, as well as complementary personalities. Someone who is really laid back isn’t going to work well in a formal home that thrives on structure. (The reverse is true as well.) The perfect nanny and family pairing has similar philosophies about discipline, education, and responsibilities. There has to be a mutual respect between the parents and the nanny regarding the decisions made concerning the child. As a parent, if you feel like you have to micromanage and instruct your nanny on how you’d like every situation handled, you will become frustrated and resentful of the situation.

One of the most important factors to consider during the process of finding a good match is assessing the needs and expectations of the family. There’s a huge difference between a parent looking for an extra set of hands to help with driving, activities, and meals and a working parent who needs someone to be the child’s primary caregiver. A take-charge, independent, problem-solving nanny with sole-charge experience isn’t going to thrive as a helper. In the same way, a nanny without the confidence to make decisions on his or her own and proactively foresee situations isn’t the best choice for a family where the parents are gone most of the day. 

Once the hiring process is done, what other support do clients typically need?

It depends upon the family. Clients will often come to us for help with communicating with their new employee, especially during the transition process while the employee settles in. We always encourage regular, open and honest communication between both parties. On occasion, we will go into the home as a “manager” and help iron out any small issues that may exist. A relationship between a family and their household employees needs to be nurtured and carefully built, as this is a private home, where discretion is of utmost importance. We encourage clear communication and a weekly sit-down between a family and staff.

If a match doesn’t work out, what is your advice for handling a potential change (or parting ways)?

We suggest that each party be gentle but honest about their feelings. The parting should be done with kindness and care so that everyone involved understands that it isn’t a personal attack, just a relationship that has outlived its potential. When hiring staff, you are creating a business in your home. I have seen people distraught if something isn’t working out because they don’t want to offend someone, they don’t want to hurt their feelings.

In certain situations, we’ll go into the residence and let the candidate go so that we can assure it’s done with delicacy. Every situation is very different. We’ve learned it’s best to never point fingers and to make everyone feel good. We directly address and try to resolve any problems, serious or minor, that are brought to our attention, and to support the client or candidate. The ending of a professional relationship can be emotional, particularly if it involves an intimate household setting, so we work to minimize any potential animosity a much as possible.

Is there a difference between a nanny and a career nanny?

Most definitely. A typical nanny is different from a career nanny in that they often have a lot of experience with families, but no background or education in child development. Other nanny candidates are great with children and may have teaching degrees or other formal education, but limited in-home experience (typically part-time babysitting work).

A career nanny is someone who has chosen childcare as his or her profession. Most often, these candidates have formal education in child development and/or psychology. This can include a college degree in education or or training from previous jobs. Career nannies also have an employment history of long-term placements in private homes, understand the dynmics of working in a home environment and are great with children. A career nanny knows how to anticipate needs, respect a family’s privacy and space, and handle the logistics of high-end homes. Being in a home is very different than working in a school or daycare; there is no way to prepare or train someone for it, it’s something you learn and understand only after having experienced it.

How have staffing agencies changed over the years?

Historically, many agencies have been run by only one or two people. Today, the amount of work it takes to verify backgrounds, interview candidates, and create and nurture relationships is impossible with such a small team. This is a time-intensive business, which is why a larger team with modernized and strict processes is essential.

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Anita Rogers is the founder of British American Household Staffing (BAHS), the nation’s leading domestic staffing and childcare agency with branches in New York, Los Angeles, Palm Beach, and London. BAHS provides childcare and estate staff available in the USA and U.K. She is also the founder of Anita Rogers Gallery in SoHo, New York, and of British American Talent, based in Los Angeles, London and New York.

Feel free to contact us for any immediate permanent, temporary or seasonal staffing needs.